Can you have an affair without getting physical?

It's that subtle flirting with a 'friend' that will lead to a full blown affair. It's one of the biggest reasons that over 50% of all marriages in this country end in divorce! It all starts with selfishness. "My husband just doesn't meet my emotional needs," or "why doesn't my wife seem to care about what I do like she used to?" or "I do so much for my spouse, what does he/she ever do for me?"

I think we have all had these moments of selfishness in our marriage! Unfortunately, we can't afford to be selfish in a marriage the way we can during the dating phase. Marriage takes work and dedication; particularly to meeting the needs of the other person. I have been searching high and low on other people's opinions on this matter. What I have come up with is that YES, it is possible to have an 'emotional' affair without any 'physical' involvement. I think that this simply means your feelings and devotion have (even in the most subtle form) transferred to someone else.

I also found this awesome questionnaire (mixed with some of my own questions) from a family values magazine that I subscribe to. (Full article here.) You can ask yourself these questions and decide if perhaps you need to change your behavior and/or lifestyle:

*Are you turning to your 'friend' for comfort rather than turning to your spouse?
*Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even when you are at home?
*Are you looking for the negative rather than the positive in your spouse?
*Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even when work doesn't require you to be together?
*Do you email and text your friend when you are not together?
*Have you told your spouse about these messages? Or do you try to hide them?
*Does the relationship with your friend take more of your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?
*Do you compare your spouse to your friend?
*Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to your friend?
*Is your spouse voice a concern about a change in your behavior?

If you answered 'yes' to most of these questions, you may be entering the beginning stages of an emotional affair, which ultimately can destroy your marriage. YIKES!

What can be done about this?

Some good tips I have been told are:

1) First of all, recognize your behavior as being inappropriate and wrong. It is easy to fall into this kind of trap, and losing your family over it is NOT worth it!

2) END the flirty relationship. Either tell your 'friend' that you cannot continue this way, or simply stop the excess communication. A wise relative told me that it is FAR better to offend someone at work than to offend your spouse.

3)Have an open conversation with your spouse. Focus on YOURSELF being the problem, not the other person. There may be some needs that yours spouse is not aware of and would be glad to work on once realized. Make a sincere apology if necessary.

4)REFOCUS your attention to your marriage and your spouse. Look for the positive rather than the negative. Try to forget yourself and think of your spouses feelings.

One last "hoorah" for the bouquet...

{Heart throb}

I guess I am a sentimental fool. I have loved and cherished my wedding bouquet for 4 1/2 years. To me, it still looks beautiful. But being honest, you can't even touch the thing without causing the petals to crumble. I am letting the poor thing go.

Of course, it wouldn't be an appropriate goodbye to my pink roses without one last photo shoot! I would have joined them, but alas, a girl only wears a wedding dress once (well, at least this girl!)

Here it is, my wedding bouquet. Good bye!

(......when I finally put the flowers in the trash, all day I was careful not to smash garbage on top of them! I kept having to tell myself that it's ok to smash them, I mean, they're in the garbage.)

Five ways to make your husband fall in love with you tonight after work

This is a quick list for a girl on the run. (Aren't we all?)


1. Have your hair and makeup done BEFORE he gets home. Or if you already did it, freshen up. Put on some perfume. Make yourself LOOK like the woman he wants to come home to. It's not exactly ideal for a man to see his woman wearing sweats with a puke stain on her shirt, and her hair looking like a rats nest.

2. Kiss him for 10 seconds right when he walks through the door. Not 2, not 5, but 10. And not like an annoying long kiss, but one that says you really missed him all day and that he's your MAN and you love him.

3. Make him dinner. No, let me rephrase that, get him dinner. Don't have time to cook? Run to Quiznos, grab a couple of subs, run home, and throw a table cloth on the table. Light a candle. VOILA! Candle light dinner. And have it there ready when he gets home. This will speak VOLUMES to him about how much you care about something that is important to him....FOOD.

4. Give him time to UNWIND. Men need cave time like girls need talk time. Let him get his cave time in before dumping on him all the worries of the day...he's had enough to worry about today at work.

5. Compliment him on SOMETHING, and mean it. Compliment him on something that makes him feel manly, like the way you appreciate him going out into the work force every day for your family, or how his muscles look really big in that shirt, or how it was so awesome of him to shovel the snow the night before.

Do these 5 things and your hubby will either think you are up to something suspicious, or that he married the most wonderful woman in the whole world, which he did!